The folks at Gallup released a poll on Monday about Values and Beliefs. Topping the list of moral acceptability: divorce. Seventy percent rated it morally acceptable. Only twenty-two percent said it was morally unacceptable. But it would be a mistake, I think, to jump to the conclusion that divorce has become no big deal for most of us. At the opposite end of the spectrum of sixteen morality...
The U.S. and Saudi governments are both rolling out Healthy Marriage initiatives. But what a difference! Here in the U.S., a healthy marriage is defined as a mutually beneficial and satisfying relationship between two people with deep respect for each other and the skills to communicate and handle conflict. The initiative involves supporting and strengthening secular and faith-based marriage...
Today is the 35th anniversary of the day I got married. It was a gorgeous Spring day, and we married, surrounded by lilacs in bloom and our closest friends and relatives, in the garden behind Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s Cambridge home. Would we still be married now, if I knew then to Assume Love, Expect Love, and Find Third Alternatives? If we had been able to stay close through those...
Sometimes, it seems it must be awfully difficult to keep a marriage going for very long. After all, for every two couples marrying in the U.S. each year, another couple gets divorced. But it’s really not true caring for each other as long as we vow rests on anything as random as a coin toss. Saturday, in London’s Westminster Cathedral, 700 couples married for ten years or more renewed...
You want to work, take a class, quit your job, stay in touch with your friends, get your exercise by dancing, offer a relative a place to stay for the night. Your husband or wife isn’t happy about this. What do you do? First, remember to Expect Love. It’s what you’re married for. You need it. But when you demand love come in a particular package, you chase it away. Don’t...
