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What Do You Mean, Assume Love?


In my last blog post, I wrote about leaning in instead of withdrawing if you want to invite that utterly non-judgemental, altruistic, fabulous feeling of love for your spouse to keep visiting you. When your husband or wife behaves in a way you don’t expect a loving person to behave, the best thing you can try is to Assume Love. Assume Love does not mean surrender. It does not mean ignore...

Lean Into Marriage Issues


Some folks scream bloody murder when things don’t go their way in a marriage. Others avoid conflict. Neither works. Both of these involve pulling away from your marriage, distancing yourself from your partner in life. Harder to do, but much more likely to succeed: lean in. Get closer. State your case and affirm your love. Be sexier (not pushier) when you ask for more sex, even if it risks a...

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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