We all get there. The marriage is not enough. An empty hole drains us. We are certain our spouses have the ability to fill it, but they don’t. We cannot get by on this much money, help, sex, support, appreciation, or recreation. One more day of this is just too much. The answer? Expect Love. Everything else we expect from our mates causes us grief or anger. Sure, some husbands take care of...
I received a comment today on this blog from JS, who is looking to put some romance back in his or her marriage. Like so many of us, they have fallen into parents-instead-of-lovers mode. For their anniversary, JS arranged a romantic weekend without the kids at a hotel and spa she likes, but it backfired. She did not like being surprised. She claimed to be ill and refused to go, then went shopping...
I did not know back then. I know now. Everything we expect of marriage gets in the way of being loved, except love. Expect love.
Did you, like so many others, grow up without the chance to observe a great marriage at close range for many years? Marriage books and blogs like this one can only go so far to fill this gap. We need role models, not just techniques. Lois Tschetter Hjelmstad offers us an intimate, close-up picture of her marriage to Les Hjelmstad in her new book, This Path We Share: Reflecting on 60 Years of...
About your marriage, that is. You can. The three secrets I discovered a day too late put a lot of power in your hands. Secret #1: Assume Love. When something happens that makes you wonder if your wife has no respect for you, if your husband no longer cares about you, or whether you ought to stay together, Assume Love. Your lizard brain, the one that protected so many of your ancestors who lived...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
