One wants to go out more. The other would just as soon stay home. It is an incredibly common difference of opinion between couples. It would be less of one if couples recognized they have lots more options. The person who wants to go out more assumes their partner wants to stay home to avoid the very things he or she values about getting out, whether it’s new experiences, better food, or...
When you Assume Love and ask how a truly loving husband, wife, or life partner could say those words, spend that money, or get that violent, beware of the alcohol explanation. Many people are quicker to anger and less diplomatic in their ways of expressing it when they drink. Most, however, cannot violate their own moral code even when drunk. If they would protect your college fund or your...
I was chatting with a couple of friends today. All three of us have had our crazy-making moments in our marriages. Some little change or thoughtless act sends us into a royal panic that makes us wonder if we’re getting a fair shake or if we ought to run for the hills. So we Assume Love, check for loving explanations of the behavior or words that freaked us out, and suddenly see the...
Right before my first husband suddenly up and died, all I could think was, “I love you, but I can’t stand this. I cannot stand my life with you.” I had no idea what to do. The therapist I had seen had no idea what to do. My husband certainly had no idea what to do. It wasn’t until my first morning as a widow that I suddenly knew what to do. May I share it with you? Here it...
This is a guest blog post from Sue Wiygul Martin, whose unfolding story on her new blog should stir anyone who has ever felt depressed, disabled, or bedeviled. It is a celebration of that wonderful moment when we declare our intention to encounter life as a twosome. In Sue’s case, it was clearer than at many weddings how big a challenge that can be. Fortunately for all of us, they are still...
