Many loving acts can also be dangerous acts. Give too much help and your spouse may become lazy or begin to feel helpless. Give too much food and your mate may become dangerously overweight. Give too many compliments and your partner may become dependent on external approval, lose self-confidence and stop trying anything new. Give too much together time and your husband or wife may start to feel...
When you’re unhappy, it hurts even more to realize your husband does not notice. Eventually, you may begin withdrawing from the relationship, hoping for a response or perhaps just some time to think. Eventually, you might start thinking about separation or divorce. You may think you’re headed for an amicable divorce. By the time you tell him you’re ready for one, he’s...
Yesterday was one of those days for me. Nothing seemed to go right. I lost all my self-confidence. I couldn’t think of anything to write about for you. And, as usually happens when I lose my self-confidence, I invented things my husband ought to do to save me from my misery. (At least now I deal with them right away before sharing them or letting them rot into resentment.) So it was pretty...
Some very surprising research results were reported last month. They offered some pretty strong evidence of a real difference between marriage and living together. And it doesn’t come from the marriage license or the religious ceremony. It comes from thinking of yourselves as married. The research was reported at the 2014 annual meeting of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology...
Sometimes I am just astounded at what passes for helpful advice regarding marriage. In yesterday’s The Globe and Mail from Toronto, their advice columnist answered a letter from a woman married 35 years and on the verge of retirement. She wrote: At dinner the other night he said, “I can hardly wait to retire.” With that I said: “Me too. I am tired of doing all of the house...
