Imagine a really unpleasant smell. Notice what your eyebrows do, how your eyes squint, how your nostrils close, and how your lips close or make that shape they make when you’re saying, “Ick.” Imagine stepping in something gross feeling on the bathroom floor in your socks. Check your eyebrows, your eyes, your nostrils, and your lips again. Imagine hearing an unfunny joke, the...
When your spouse is chronically ill, it affects you, too, in so many ways. Most of us notice this spillover effect. Your life gets harder — running more errands, doing more chores, coordinating health care, insuring a steady income, and limitations on travel and the strenuousness of what you can do together. It’s not an easy life, but it feels awful to complain, because no matter how...
The tiny amygdala buried deep in each half of our brains has a lot to do with our emotions and our emotional memories. And sex hormone levels drive a lot of the amygdala’s responses, as you may have noticed when a dirty athletic sock on the kitchen table set off bottle rockets just before your period. Nicole Petersen (UCLA and UC Irvine) and Larry Cahill (UC Irvine) wondered what happens...
One common thread I notice in the stories of those who have initiated divorces is what they gave up while married. They usually return to it with some glee after the divorce. Many of these things are creative: painting, photography, poetry, pottery. Others are risk-taking: helicopter skiing, small plane flying, bungee jumping, unescorted travel in third world or less safe countries. Some are...
Is it over? Is it worth repairing? Can things get better? Here is how to tell. Are you married to someone who keeps you afraid to step out of line? Do you fear getting hit, bullied, locked up, or torn down with words designed to hit your most vulnerable spots? Or are you aware your spouse has cheated on you repeatedly? If so, only your spouse can save this marriage, and it’s going to take a...
