Recently, I had a stimulating discussion with two highly intelligent and articulate women half my age. One of them introduced me to a new name for having sex with people other than your spouse but with your spouse’s permission: ethical non-monogamy. When I was in high school, swingers was what we called consensual spouses having sex with other partners. They went to sex parties together or...
I am a worrier. A world-class worrier, I suspect. My father taught me well: always ask, “What if?” MIT taught me well: they gave me a degree in Planning. But my native curiosity and imagination were probably more than enough on their own. The other night, I was sitting on the sofa beside my husband when I smelled smoke. I asked him if he smelled it. Nope. But, to humor me and out of a...
If you have always thought you’re winning when you get your way and losing when you don’t, you will need to change your perspective to enjoy being married. If you go along to get along when you disagree with your spouse, you know it puts a little extra distance between the two of you. It’s harder to feel close when you’ve just agreed to something you actually disagree with...
It’s Valentine’s Day, 2022. And the Assume Love blog is now Sweet Sixteen. I published the first post on Valentine’s Day in 2006. I hope that it’s helped you celebrate more happy Valentines Days since then. Happy seventh anniversary to my cousin’s daughter (my first cousin once removed) and her marvelous second husband. What a great choice of wedding days. And (this...
I have been thinking a lot lately about all of the friends and loved ones of mine who have died. I’m sure I was annoyed or even really angry at most of them at some point. But this is not what I remember. I remember what they taught me about how to make the world a better place. Some lit up a room with their smiles. They were the same people who showed me how to ask the right questions to...
