Here they are, ten really lousy excuses for the two of you drifting off to an “irreconcilable differences” divorce. 1. My Husband (or Wife) Won’t Let Me Really? You feel free to decide whether or not to stick to those vows you made, but you have surrendered the decision to take a job you want, sport a different hairstyle, try skydiving, or meet your friends after work? Find a...
Have you got a marriage blister? That would be an irritation resulting from something that rubs you the wrong way, day after day after day. For example, you find a raised toilet seat offensive, and you have to lower it several times a day. Or you make the dinner and expect this means you will not have to wash any dishes, but they are still on the counter at bedtime at least every other day. Or...
Researchers call it “diffuse physiological arousal.” Therapists call it “flooding.” You start out a little bit angry or anxious. Your stress grows. When it reaches the point called “flooding,” you can no longer think clearly about anything except fight (hurting or stopping the person or thing you are upset about) or flight (getting away, even if just inside...
We marry someone who fills our life with sunshine. It feels so good, we cannot help but sing—and say yes. Turn a few calendar pages, and suddenly, it’s a dark day. The sun is almost completely hidden by dark clouds that get our clothes wet and frizzle our hair. Worse yet, it’s the eighth dark day in a row. No tornadoes ripping the roof off. No hurricane knocking the trees over...
I know from personal experience how overwhelming emotions can get when your marriage feels like it’s not working. Before you announce you’ve had it, try this. Make a list of the things you would do after you divorced, other than flirt or find a new sex partner, and do them for three months. Go out for dinner with your friends. Take a trip without your spouse. Learn to dance. Lose...
