Just Like the Weather

J

“Today I started loving you again.” — Merle Haggard
Somehow I ran out of things to say on this blog for a while. I don’t know how it happened after so many years. But I am back, and I want to help you Enjoy Being Married.
I am just back from a Sunday afternoon Suzy Bogguss concert at our local cultural center, a repurposed 1800’s white wooden church with a tall steeple and great acoustics at the bottom of the dirt-road mountain we live on. She and her band were terrific, and for the first half of the set, every song inspired another Assume Love blog post.
So let me share two lines from the chorus of Just Like the Weather, which Suzy and her husband wrote while discussing all their divorcing friends during a stop for lunch on their way to a wedding. Statistics from many interviews with married people over many years back them up.

~

“If you stay it’ll get better.
Wherever you go, it’s bound to rain.”

~

About the author

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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  • I’ve missed you. Your words have brought me much comfort. And I’m still married!! We’re working on it and have made a lot of progress. I often read your archived columns. Thank you so much.

  • Great to see you back! I’m glad you took a break rather than force yourself to produce posts if you weren’t “feeling it.”
    This lyric could be applied to many aspects of life — marriage, job, house/neighborhood, etc. It doesn’t mean that one should stay no matter what, but that something new & different won’t be perfect, either.

  • Glad you’re back! I only came across this site in June and have been catching up on all of you posts. The advice you give is priceless and while I still have expectations of my husband, I do find myself assuming love more often than before. I am also remembering that he’s doing his best.

  • Thank you for posting again. Your posts have kept me going for the last year. Your focus on love has really resonated with me. I believe love is the most powerful force. More specifically, the post I keep reading and reading is the one about what to do when your spouse says they love you but are no longer in love with you. You are right when you said that withdrawing or stonewalling are not the way to get that love back. After thirty years of marriage I have found it hard not to withdraw and simply shut down after facing such a hurtful situation. But after a year of applying that basic principal of putting myself out there and not running away or shutting myself off may be starting to pay off. It is true that the only road back to love is through love. Thank you for those words of wisdom !

  • Wow. How did I miss this wonderful comment, SusieQ? I was just deleting all the unpublished spammer comments and came across it. Thank you, and I hope things are going well in your marriage now.

By Patty Newbold

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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