Another great question in the comments on another post sparked this post: What if you can find the evidence that your spouse loves you by what he has said, but the way he says it is delivered in a frightening way, such as by yelling, cursing, and slamming doors? How do you handle that behavior? Special Situations Yelling, cursing, and slamming doors are ways to feel better inside (they are a...
If you are an adventure-seeker, someone who loves to try new things and test your nerves whenever you can, you may find yourself attracted to and then married to your opposite, a comfort-seeker. At some point, you may think you married the wrong person, that you have nothing in common with this person and would be better off with another adventure-seeker. But there is a reason we’re...
This was fun! Grace Pamer interviewed me for her blog Romance Never Dies. She’s a sucker for marriage proposals and endlessly curious about how love begins. She asked me about both of my wonderful husbands. While you’re there, look for Adam and Aubrie’s proposal. It’s a lot of fun, and I don’t really think such fun ought to end when we marry. Let’s propose a...
I received a comment this week on my very popular Should I Stay Married for the Kids? post. I think it’s an important one, so I am replying to it in this blog post. If you have kids and are considering divorce or do not currently enjoy being married, I hope you will read the whole thing. It’s from someone who gets what it means to kids when parents divorce but must make a difficult...
The guiding idea behind Assume Love has been described as “give your spouse the benefit of the doubt.” Close, but it would be much more accurate to say “give yourself the benefit of the doubt.” I’m not here to turn you into a better spouse. I am here to help you enjoy being married. The benefit I care about is your satisfaction with your marriage and your life. I...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
