ArchiveFebruary 2012

The Loving Perspective, Part 1

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Are you one of those people who can’t make the shift from all the awful explanations for what your spouse did? When you Assume Love and try to explain it as a loving act, do you draw a blank? If so, the series of posts that begins today may help. One of the best guides is Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages. You can run down the list and see if what happened fits into any of them. I...

Upset with Your Mate? Look Elsewhere

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Know that joke about looking under the street lamp for keys you dropped elsewhere, because the light is better? One of the great things I learned by helping with the research into character strengths and well-being is where else to look when I am not seeing my husband’s strengths. Let me share a few with you. Upset with shortcomings in modesty or authenticity? Look for how much optimism...

Close Your Marriage’s Emotional Bank Account Today

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A new study of commitment in the first 11 years of marriage confirms something I have long believed. “The psychologists recommend against ‘bank-account relationships,’ in which you keep score of how often you get your way and how often you compromise.” They looked at the results of two types of commitment at the start of these 172 marriages: “I really like this...

May I Ask for a Bit of Help?

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I could use your help with a problem I have. I need to find someone to rent my timeshare week in Virginia Beach from August 18 through 25, 2012. I always love this week, but this year it conflicts with a family gathering elsewhere. It’s between Atlantic Avenue and the boardwalk, with large windows and a balcony facing the ocean. It includes a bedroom with a big, comfortable, king size bed...

For marriage book reviews and books by Patty Newbold, the author of Assume Love, visit:
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Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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