Have you got a marriage blister? That would be an irritation resulting from something that rubs you the wrong way, day after day after day. For example, you find a raised toilet seat offensive, and you have to lower it several times a day. Or you make the dinner and expect this means you will not have to wash any dishes, but they are still on the counter at bedtime at least every other day. Or...
A New Zealand couple, Margaret and Allan Alexander, celebrated their 70 wedding anniversary on October 4th. Both are in their 90s. They met in 1937 and married in 1941. A month after marrying, Allan went off to fight in WWII. A bomber pilot stationed in England, he was unable to return home for three long years. It was a huge test for a new marriage, one faced by many couples who married in 1941...
Researchers call it “diffuse physiological arousal.” Therapists call it “flooding.” You start out a little bit angry or anxious. Your stress grows. When it reaches the point called “flooding,” you can no longer think clearly about anything except fight (hurting or stopping the person or thing you are upset about) or flight (getting away, even if just inside...
Help yourself to happier feelings. Tell your spouse about the positive events in your life. Accomplish a goal? Receive an award or promotion? Lose weight? Tell your spouse. Researcher Shelly Gable has found this pays off in increased well-being and a better mood. You can take it to the next level and get greater well-being plus a more satisfying and stable relationship. How? Through active and...
We marry someone who fills our life with sunshine. It feels so good, we cannot help but sing—and say yes. Turn a few calendar pages, and suddenly, it’s a dark day. The sun is almost completely hidden by dark clouds that get our clothes wet and frizzle our hair. Worse yet, it’s the eighth dark day in a row. No tornadoes ripping the roof off. No hurricane knocking the trees over...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
