Taghusband

Married? Busy? Take Your Spouse’s Calls

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White House Press Secretary Dana Perino says her predecessor, Tony Snow, “was the inspiration for her 2008 New Year’s resolution, which was always to take her husband’s telephone calls, no matter how busy she was at work,” according to tomorrow’s New York Times. Tony Snow died today of colon cancer, at age 53, leaving a wife and three children it’s evident he...

Gone Boating

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On a beautiful summer afternoon like this one, I recall the pleasures of boating. I want to get out on the water. My husband does not. Am I being cheated? Is there something wrong with my marriage? Not at all. We promised to love each other “in sickness and in health,” not “by boat and by bicycle.” Our marriage is just fine. He’s a handy companion, and I love...

35th Wedding Anniversary

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Today is the 35th anniversary of the day I got married. It was a gorgeous Spring day, and we married, surrounded by lilacs in bloom and our closest friends and relatives, in the garden behind Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s Cambridge home. Would we still be married now, if I knew then to Assume Love, Expect Love, and Find Third Alternatives? If we had been able to stay close through those...

Doing What Your Spouse Doesn’t Want You to Do

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You want to work, take a class, quit your job, stay in touch with your friends, get your exercise by dancing, offer a relative a place to stay for the night. Your husband or wife isn’t happy about this. What do you do? First, remember to Expect Love. It’s what you’re married for. You need it. But when you demand love come in a particular package, you chase it away. Don’t...

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Marriage: What Should You Expect?

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What’s reasonable to expect from a husband? Or a wife? I had an interesting discussion recently with two single women. I told them I believe one of the keys to a great marriage is to expect only love. Well, of course they both expect love. But only love? Shouldn’t we expect fairness? If one cooks, the other cleans up? Unless there are kids at home to care for, both work? If she does...

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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