Positive psychology researchers continue to study what we can do to lead more enjoyable lives. Martin Seligman tells us we flourish by adding Positive emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning and purpose, and Accomplishment (PERMA) to our lives. I would like to look at these to learn how we can enjoy being married over the next few days. Positive emotion comes from remembering our past...
This issue always comes up during election years, doesn’t it? Some of us find the news that a candidate left his wife for his mistress a bad sign. Others want to forgive it as a mistake or simply keep everything about a candidate’s personal life off-limits. I would argue, though, that marriages matter. They are not entirely private. They are not entirely our own business. Yes, we make...
It happens a lot. We reach a point in our marriage where there seems to be no time for each other. So much to do! Kids. Work. Schooling. Email. Favorite TV shows or sports teams. Cooking. Taxes. Shopping. All of a sudden, it’s just too much. We want to talk. Go out to a quiet dinner together. Get some sympathy. Make time for skiing or photography or whatever it was we did together before...
Yesterday, on The Generous Wife, Lori wrote a great post about the value of getting to know more about the parts of your husband’s life you don’t share. She recommended listening, asking questions, and learning a new shared vocabulary. She gave the example of her husband’s fascination with zombies. One of the commenters, Lisa, asked a question so many of us have asked at some...
When you get married… You try to be the person you think a wife or husband should be. Your spouse tries to be the person he or she thinks a wife or husband should be. They seldom match up with what the other expected. Neither of you keeps trying quite so hard without positive feedback. Each of you may resort to nagging to get what you expect or withdrawal to avoid the pain of not getting it...
