When you’re thinking others have a great marriage and yours is so-so or worse, what do you imagine a great marriage would feel like? I think a great marriage feels like swing dancing. It’s not static and unchanging. It’s being pushed away and pulled back with just the right tension in the bonds connecting you. It’s being wrapped in a hold then spun back out on your own...
My husband and I have a few places. One is a very comfortable neighborhood restaurant and bar with good music, really friendly service, palm trees with colored lights, lots of comfort food, and an unlimited supply of fresh, hot tortilla chips. We go there when the tension level reaches a certain level. It lets us smile at life and each other again. In a way, it is a Third Alternative. My husband...
While the kids were young, Tom earned most of the money he and Selena and their two girls lived on. Now that the girls are in middle school, Selena’s earning a bit more. For Tom, this feels like the ideal time to start his own business if he’s ever going to do it. If it fails, he can be back in someone else’s employ before the girls are applying to colleges. If it succeeds the...
So many of us today drift into marriage. We date. We move in together. We make a baby. Then we marry. Or we make a baby, so we move in together and, if we can find the time, date, hoping to kindle enough of a fire to want to marry. Or it’s our second time around. We will make no more babies. We date. We live together to save time or money. Eventually we marry because one or both grow tired...
Ever notice how much more lovable your husband, wife, or life partner is when life is going well for you? You smile, you get smiles back. You embrace and all is forgiven. You feel generous and in return you feel loved and appreciated. So why is it that when we’re having work problems or doing poorly at our attempts to lose weight or build muscle or finish a project, we criticize our mates...
