Remember that feeling? The one where you feel warmth near your heart and your rib cage opens up a bit as you read a love letter or look into the eyes of someone you’re falling in love with? That is the rush of oxytocin and the stimulation of your vagus nerves. It doesn’t just feel great. It also improves your heart’s health and helps fight off inflammatory diseases, but only if...
The Joy of Marriage
Just a quick note today to highly recommend a blog post by Carson Abrir on the Fatherhood Channel on why you might want to treat your marriage more like a professional basketball team. It includes a great handout on the Joy of Marriage, too.
Added Burden
There is no question about it: marriage adds burdens to our lives. It also adds comforts and joys. When the burdens outweigh the other two, it’s time to try something different. In my blog, I often suggest three things you can do when you feel overly burdened: (1) Assume Love, (2) Expect Love, and (3) Find Third Alternatives. I have found that all three can evaporate some of the burdens of...
Woohoo! A Great Example of Assume Love
A brand new reader named Ona shared a fantastic example of what you can learn about your spouse and yourself when you Assume Love. At the end, she asks for a little help with her next steps, so I want to share her comment and my advice with you. I hope it lights a few candles for you, because I want you to enjoy being married. Ona wrote: Wow has this philosophy been an eye opener. I can’t...
A Challenge from a Fellow Blog Reader
Susan, whose comments you may have noticed, sent this: Patty I have a throwdown challenge for your readers: try not saying one critical word to your spouse for a full month. During that time tell your spouse at least three times a day things about them you are grateful for — even if it is taking out the garbage. My husband and I found this really hard at first and now there is no going back...

