“I work hard for my money, so my wife doesn’t need to work. She’s free to stay home and do as she pleases, as long as the house is clean and dinner’s ready when I get home.” “I always thought we’d retire together, but my husband took early retirement when it was offered and now I can’t afford to do the same. He’s not working. Why can’t...
Sometimes, the only thing wrong with a near-dead, boring marriage is whatever’s wrong with your life. And divorce can’t fix that. Marriages need novelty: new things to talk about, new things to do together, new reasons to savor the best moments of our past together. Overwork, depression, an empty nest, or a new baby can all put us into lockstep mode. So much focus is required just to...
I received a wonderful request in a comment from Marie yesterday on my 2012 post, Avoid Pretending to Feel Loved When You Do Not. Marie asked for “advice on how to manage your own insecurities, while granting your spouse liberty to engage in harmless pleasures, such as: appreciating individuals of the opposite sex and not judging occasional encounters with porn.” She provided more...
Let me set aside for the moment the obvious problem, that you promised yourself and your spouse, your family and friends, and perhaps even God you’d stay faithful. This seems to come up a lot more after the fall than while standing on the edge of the cliff contemplating letting an affair happen. No, the problem with affairs is that their temptation is so one dimensional. In a marriage, your...
What drives you nuts in the bathroom you share with your spouse? What problems did you have at first that you’ve found a clever solution to? Pantyhose in the shower? Wasting water? Not replacing the empty toilet paper roll? Leaving wet towels on the floor? I’m sure there are a million more. It’s a funny thing about bathrooms. We learn about them when we’re so young. The...
