Do you remember falling in love with this man or woman you’re married to? Do you remember standing taller, even floating on air, as another human being got to see behind your public facade and admired the real you? You were transported from ordinary person to desirable, exceptionally skilled, unusually talented, fascinating you. Do you remember, too, that amazing feeling of doing loving...
If you’re someone with a lot of strong opinions, you might find it convenient to marry a “go along to get along” partner — for a while. You’ll be the one choosing who does what, where you vacation, which friends you see, what big purchases the two of you make, all sorts of things. It may even feel like you’ve married someone who’s ultra-compatible with...
We all bring expectations to a relationship. Some are life-preserving: “I expect to feel safe from violence and life-threatening conditions in our shared home.” Some are about boundaries we need to set to allow ourselves to be as vulnerable as real intimacy requires: “I expect to be free from any condition that turned deadly or life-threatening or intimidating in past...
I was stressed. And anxious. And trying to get work done. Problems kept popping up. I went to the bathroom sink to get a drink of water. The first thing I noticed was how wet the front of the sink was. Then I saw all those whisker clippings. Lots of them. My mind went right where it loves to go: what is wrong with my husband that he left this mess?! He’s a grown man! Can’t he do...
When the resentment level was rising quickly in my first marriage, I heard lots of advice about working harder at being married. So I did. And when it didn’t work, the resentment rose twice as fast, until I knew I could stand no more. No one said to me what I will say to you today. Unless you’ve been staying away, sleeping with someone else and leaving your spouse with all the chores...
