If you’re one of the people who has ever asked this, I know something about you. You’re someone who routinely wipes it down after using it. The people who instead wipe the sink down before using it need the same amount of time. And they think a lot more highly of their partner, even if they’re not married to an after-wiper. They get a lot less riled up. And, of course, they...
A friend contacted me recently, upset. Or pre-upset, if we can declare this a word. Her husband would be miserably uncomfortable the next day, doctor’s orders, and she knew this would make him say mean things to her. It always did. Her Love Language is Words of Affirmation. There would be none tomorrow. Instead, there would be grumbles, complaints, calls to hurry up or move aside, maybe...
It’s so good to back online. I was starting to think the blog would never work again. Since the end of January, comments and adding new posts has not worked. After a lot of wrong turns throughout a very busy year, it’s great to be back! I thought I would resume by telling you why I have been writing this blog for 13 years. And it’s the same reason I wore an Urban League...
Join me in an experiment. Without any setup, without any extra words, tell your husband or wife, “I respect you.” In the comments below (or online if you get this by email), let us know (1) what sort of reaction it gets, and (2) how it felt to say this. It might help if you add whether this was woman to woman, man to woman, woman to man, or man to man. Our hormones predispose us to...
The human body is well-designed for two functions much needed in our evolutionary past. The first is self-preservation: fight, flee, or freeze. We could be attacked at almost any moment, and only those who survived passed down their genes. The second is tend and befriend. To survive as a human, our ancestors had to cooperate with other humans to eat, to clothe themselves, to build homes, and to...
