This weekend, I witnessed the spectacular end of a couple living together. She had been trying to make it through the end of the lease, despite knowing she was done with her overbearing, abusive boyfriend. Fortunately, she and her children left with only emotional scars. It made me think about this sea change since I was a teen. Back then, almost everyone got married within a few years of high...
Every healthy marriage manages a balance between independence and interdependence. Research suggests that a bit more than half of us handle this naturally. The rest of us must pay a bit more attention, because it’s not our natural style. Psychologists call the ability to naturally notice and make corrections in this balance a secure attachment style. When you’re both busy doing your...
So many divorced people will tell you they and their husband or wife “just drifted apart.” They went from the intensity of “Will you marry me?” to “For better or worse until death do us part” to “Don’t wait up for me.” How do the long-married folks avoid this? They do things together. And they make a habit. But not a boring, repetitive habit...
When we marry, we promise “in sickness and in health.” Becoming a caregiver is part of the package. Having a caregiver if we become temporarily or permanently incapacitated is also part of the package. It’s a great deal. However, when it’s time to step up, nothing’s as easy as we hoped when we made this promise. In fact, it’s not even easy to be the recipient...
‘Tis the season for family get-togethers. Many don’t go as well as we’d like. Fights between spouses often result, but most can be avoided. Remember when your husband or wife gets together with Momma, either of them can slip, unaware, into a role from their past. Your spouse may: Become that 5-year-old whose adult responsibilities are all handled by Mommy Compete like an 8-year...
