Know that joke about looking under the street lamp for keys you dropped elsewhere, because the light is better? One of the great things I learned by helping with the research into character strengths and well-being is where else to look when I am not seeing my husband’s strengths. Let me share a few with you. Upset with shortcomings in modesty or authenticity? Look for how much optimism...
A new study of commitment in the first 11 years of marriage confirms something I have long believed. “The psychologists recommend against ‘bank-account relationships,’ in which you keep score of how often you get your way and how often you compromise.” They looked at the results of two types of commitment at the start of these 172 marriages: “I really like this...
I could use your help with a problem I have. I need to find someone to rent my timeshare week in Virginia Beach from August 18 through 25, 2012. I always love this week, but this year it conflicts with a family gathering elsewhere. It’s between Atlantic Avenue and the boardwalk, with large windows and a balcony facing the ocean. It includes a bedroom with a big, comfortable, king size bed...
You probably already know what drives me to write this blog and teach my teleclasses. Just in case you don’t, it was getting exactly what I thought I wanted 25 years ago, when my resentment outweighed my love for the man I married, the father of our son. I write and speak to stop you from going after what I thought I wanted. First I wanted him to change. I wanted a fairer division of chores...
Luis said, “Barb, do you think you can find us a babysitter for Valentine’s Day, so I can take you to dinner at La Paz?” A small shudder of annoyance went down Barb’s spine. Luis never seemed to pay any attention to their budget. And he never, ever called any of the sitters himself, even though Barb had entered all of their numbers into his cell phone. Barb said, “I...
