Today’s post is by guest blogger Russ Lane of Second Helping, a website about life after weight loss. It is unusual to address dating in Assume Love, but what Russ experienced affects us married folks, too, when our fears get in the way of seeing what is really going on. I never dated before I lost 200 pounds and transformed from wallflower to Mr. Adventure. Back then, I blamed this and...
Tit for Tat
Tit for tat may make you happier for the moment, but always at the expense of your relationship. Falling in love made your heart sing, not because of what your beloved offered you, but because it made you want to offer so much more.
Happy Valentine’s day! Be generous.
And thanks for three great years so far. Here’s a post from that first Valentine’s Day in 2006.
Great Couples Book: The Usual Error
Pace and Kyeli Smith have knocked one out of the park with their new couples communication book, The Usual Error: Why We Don’t Understand Each Other and 34 Ways to Make It Better. What is the Usual Error? It is the very normal, very human, big-trouble-creating mistake we all make. It is assuming that others think like us, would react like us, or value the same things we do. When we do this...
When Marriage and Careers Collide
This is a comment I wrote in reply to a post by Pam Slim today, in Escape from Cubicle Nation, asking how to handle a situation in which one spouse’s new business launch conflicts with another spouse’s planned job change. Don’t miss the other great comments there if this is an issue for you and your spouse. Pam, Dave, thanks so much for this opportunity to comment. Marriage and...
Why “Love Me Better” Fails
I’m unhappy. Love me better.” That’s not exactly how we put it. We ask for more time at home, more romance, more appreciation, more help around the house, or more evenings out. Usually, what we ask for are things we received lots of us at the start of the relationship. We just want to go back to those good times, to feeling loved. Feeling that loved again is a perfectly...

