I want you to have it. Wouldn’t you love to hear these words when you say what you want? So would your life partner. Instead we say other, less wonderful things: We don’t have the money. I can’t spare the time. You wouldn’t really like it. Too bad. You can’t have it. Dream on! But wouldn’t it feel great to be able to say it? To feel confident it is within our...
When you get really angry about the way your husband or wife treats you, what do you do? Do you yell or throw something, then kiss and make up later? This is not assuming love. Do you keep your anger to yourself, giving your mate the benefit of the doubt, letting it pass, but not exactly letting it go, because you are loved? This is not assuming love, either. It is what I call pretending love...
A great quote from Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity, in her article After the Storm in the Psychotherapy Networker about which marriages survive and which don’t after she helps them get beyond an act of infidelity. When we seek the gaze of another, it isn’t always our partner we’re turning away from, but the person we ourselves have become. We’re seeking not...
In today’s Dear Abby column, a reader writes: Every time I start to get over Guy, he comes around again. It’s like he has radar. In this case, Guy is a married man, but that’s the result, not the cause. If you are looking to get married and running into people like Guy, or if you are in Guy’s situation of being unable to choose, you need to know this. Some folks have a...
When do you feel most in love? When do you look into the eyes of your mate and melt? When do you feel so lucky to be loved by this man or woman that you could just float up off the ground? What floods you with warmth and a sense of security or a desire to protect this one special person? Is it when you are fed and pampered? When you receive an especially thoughtful gift? During lovemaking? After...
