I received a comment today on this blog from JS, who is looking to put some romance back in his or her marriage. Like so many of us, they have fallen into parents-instead-of-lovers mode. For their anniversary, JS arranged a romantic weekend without the kids at a hotel and spa she likes, but it backfired. She did not like being surprised. She claimed to be ill and refused to go, then went shopping...
If you are not yet married but would like to be, you may wonder if you now date or live with “the one” you should marry or, if not, how to spot this perfect partner. I received an email recently from someone wondering about this, too. Who is Your Perfect Partner? Your perfect partner adds something extra to your good enough life. He or she is not responsible for making it good enough...
So much of what we do in life has a goal. We convince ourselves we will be happy when we reach the goal. We work hard to get there for as long we believe the goal lies within our reach. When we no longer believe it does, some of us double down and look for a better route to the goal. The rest of us move on to a different goal. We pursue happiness. When we marry, we set the goal of loving each...
You have a disagreement with your spouse or life partner. You want one thing. We will call it Alternative 1. Your mate wants something else. Because I am a stickler for symmetry, we will call it Alternative 2. Alternatives 1 and 2 For example, Alternative 1 might be the toilet paper you grew up with and Alternative 2 might be a new, greener brand your husband or wife prefers. If you two choose...
In answer to a question posed to me today, I think people should know 3 things before they marry: How to find a third alternative to any disagreement, an option that gives each party all they were looking for in their first suggestion without the drawbacks of the other person’s first suggestion, instead of arguing. That what you can expect from marriage is love, not any particular sign of...
