If you read yesterday’s post, you know that step one in finding a Third Alternative is to jump the net and step two is to write new specs. Now we are ready for step three. Step Three: Brainstorm! Sometimes, one of you can do the brainstorming on your own. You look at your new specs and ideas start popping. Suddenly, there it is. The Third Alternative, the one you will like as much as you...
Find a Third Alternative – Step Two
If you read yesterday’s post, you know that step one in finding a Third Alternative is to jump the net. Step Two: Write New Specs Those first two ideas, the ones you disagree about, can keep your thinking stuck. To find something else you both like as much begins with a list of specifications for making you happy. Your first two options won’t work as solutions, but they give you a...
Find a Third Alternative – Step One
If you read yesterday’s post, you know how to recognize a Third Alternative: it ends a disagreement with both of you happy. Even Stephen Covey, who wrote about Third Alternatives in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, lost track of this first step when he also called this Win-Win negotiating. Almost everyone since has used this same name, and the name leads sales people, business...
What is a Third Alternative?
I have decided to accept the challenge from Stu Gray of Stupendous Marriage: Love, Sex, and All the Rest to participate in this month’s Ultimate Blog Challenge. The challenge is to post something on Assume Love daily for the month of October. It was this or give up chocolate for the month, and I think this will be a lot more fun. This week’s teleclass is on Third Alternatives, so...
How to Stay Married for 33 Years and Then Some
When my wonderful friend Gill Othen celebrated her 33rd wedding anniversary in August, she added this comment on Facebook: "It’s funny — very few of my ‘gang’ at Durham have divorced, yet there seem to be very few people my age who haven’t been otherwise." I asked her for a guest post, then I clumsily never noticed it slip into my inbox until now, almost 3...

