We all have both explicit and implicit memories. The explicit ones we can generally retrieve on demand: who taught our 9th grade Algebra class, what the weather was on our wedding day, what we ate for breakfast this morning. Alzheimer’s erodes these memories, and we have none from our earliest years because our brains could not form them yet. The implicit ones are the hidden influences on...
I learned this the hard way. My first husband dropped dead with no warning when he was just 35, making it quite clear how few of the problems affecting the two of us were marriage problems. What’s the difference? The marriage problems go away when your marriage partner dies or after all the dust settles from your divorce. The others, the ones that remain, were never about your marriage. Not...
Have you ever had one of those discussions where you just know you’re right and your wife or husband is wrong? Not the sort where you debate whether Bigfoot exists or not, but the sort where you think it makes sense to buy a bigger lawn mower or to stay away from Aunt Zelda’s third wedding and you’re getting an argument. There are two ways to handle these. The most common seems...
What’s your favorite? What sort of morning, afternoon, or evening with your partner in life helps strengthen your bond or increase your desire for each other? What gets you excited to be together again? What makes you happy you chose the person you’re with? How do you take the ordinary out of being together for so many years?
There are many websites and blog posts devoted to the signs that a spouse is cheating and all the things you can do to confirm your suspicions. Well before the showers and colognes, the unexplained late nights at work, the secret emails and spare cell phones, there are clues you may find a lot more helpful, because you can do something about them before things get worse. Recovering your marriage...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
